And to kick off the New Year… I’m not making resolutions because I know I will break them and I don’t like to be disappointed. Instead, I got a hair cut (well, before the New Year, but it still counts) to have a fresh look on myself. The new me will do all sorts of cool things that won’t even fit on a list…. I will let it unfold as it comes.

Off for the wonderful year of change that I’m hoping 2010 to be. Happy New Year everyone!

I can mix and match many of these parts of me, but I cannot feed them all in a short period of time. Otherwise, I would need to have about six different bodies doing different things but feeding into the same brain. The only exception is the last one listed which is compatible with all of the above.

In life I regularly run into these moments where I feel like a part of me isn’t being fulfilled while another one is. So, I juggle. I’m really into something for a few days, weeks, months or even years and then I switch it up.
Sounds like a pretty good plan, but by having so many strong parts of me, the ones that don’t get attention for a while start complaining.

I can easily appease the craving for many of them, but others are a little bit harder. It creates this sort of “I want to do too many things” cluster in my mind. And this happens mostly when the weekend is around the corner. I have all of two days that are a blank canvas!! What can I do? Oh my goodness… so many things!
I could finish my blog redesign, finish my painting, take a jog, go hiking, take a nap, cook food, make cheese, chill, go shopping, call my family, clean the apartment, watch a movie….
This sounds great!… in my head. But when I read the list, I see that it’s too much. Or I’ll need another weekend after the weekend. So I’ll cross some stuff out, fulfill some some parts of me and give a friendly wave to the others and switch it up next time.

I cannot do it all. I just can’t do it all. Not all at once. I’m working on being ok with that… I think I’m getting there. Maybe.

For those of you who don’t know about Kiva, in a nutshell, it’s basically an organization that allows anyone to make micro-loans to people around the world. It helps these people build or expand their business, whatever it might be.

For example, I helped a couple in Cambodia get more pigs for breeding. A woman in Ghana who had a used clothing business and needed to get more used clothes in order to sell more. And thanks to the first two paying me back a little, I was able to re-lend this money to a woman in Peru who needed some work done on her taxi.

I can’t even begin to express how awesome this concept is! I guess it’s so awesome that Kiva has a hard time keeping up with lenders, that’s how awesome it is!

Like I say in my Kiva profile, “it makes me feel like the world is moving towards a sustainable direction instead of creating more gaps”. When you think about it, I am a business partner of entrepreneurs around the world.

Like most women, I get pretty -ultra- sensitive around the time they start. And then I get frustrated with things, or even down until I realize that I’ll be starting my ragnagnas the next day and it puts everything in perspective.

On Justin’s wise advice, I started putting them on my Google calendar so I can see when they’re due and make sense of any anxiety by looking at the date. It’s something’s I’ve never done.

Funny thing is, a few days ago he asked me: “What’s Rag-nag-nas? Is that a dance class you go to?”

I love my man’s candor, it totally could have been an ethnic dance class or the name of a Flamenco teacher, but after laughing my head off, I had to reveal to him my little secret.

I’ve had short hair ever since I moved to California more than 7 years ago (already!!). Finally last year I decided to just let it grow. And so I let it grow and grow and grow until it reached the same length I used to have in high school. It felt so good. I could play with it, I could do all sorts of fun up-does, I could whip it around and feel feminine. But the longer it grew, the more it felt kind of rough at the tips and my hair stylist would always tell me “are you sure you don’t want to pay an extra $30 and get a deep conditioning treatment?”. Yes, I’m sure I don’t want to pay $90 + tip to just get my hair trimmed/reshaped and revitalized for two days. I mean, yesterday I got a deep conditioning treatment at Sally’s beauty supply for $1.79 a packet. That’s what I’ll go for, thank you very much.

But in the end, when hair is damaged, there’s not much to do other than just cut it. And so I did. I went back to my hair stylist (whom I really like by the way, even if I make it sound like I don’t right now), I passed on the conditioning treatment and asked her for a long A-line bob. For the non-initiated, an A-line bob is when it’s shorter in the back and longer in the front. Kind of the reverse of a mullet, right?

Anyways, here’s the result when my hair is wavy. (I have a tendency to straighten it out to go to work. It makes me look more serious… but you know I can’t act too serious!)

I like it. What do you think?

Important note: Look at the hair not the face, these picture was taken an early morning… way before my facial muscles were awake… hence the slightly sleepy look.

At first my face was going through all sorts of confused expressions. What the heck is the Diva Cup? Then I understand, but I’m still a little confused. And then it clicks. Brilliant!!!

It’s been three months I haven’t used any tampons or pads at all during my menstrual cycles. Amazing!
I feel like I am doing a favor to the earth by not buying and throwing away products that I’m sure are hard or impossible to recycle. Instead, I empty a silicone cup, wash it and use it again. It totally changed my menstrual life and believe it or not, I actually look forward to it every month.

(Please stop reading if you don’t want to get more details)

Here are some observations I’ve made during these three months:

1) I need to “change” a lot less and therefore “plan” a lot less.

Before, I knew I needed about 4-6 tampons a day on my 2 heaviest days and a “super plus” tampon for night time if I didn’t want to get up in the middle of the night and change.
Now, I “empty” twice, maybe 3 times a day. Morning – When I come back from work – Before I go to bed.

2) Practical facts:

- I actually don’t need to hide any tampons in my pants or bring my purse to the public bathroom. I’m totally “period incognito”!
- I don’t have to worry about where the string is placed to avoid it getting caught in my underwear and make me walk funny (do you ladies have that problem too?)
- It doesn’t leak.
- It doesn’t smell
- It doesn’t suck out the moisture of my inners.

3) Horrific but fascinating fact:

When you empty the cup in the toilet, well, you see blood. I didn’t realize how unsettling it was to see my own blood in a liquid form versus imbibed in a high-tech absorbent fabric. At first, I went “ughhh” and then I went “woaaaa”. Every time I would “empty” it, I would be amazed at witnessing what my body is able to create. I mean it totally looks like you’ve killed something and want to hide the evidence. It’s actually pretty funny!

I have a weird sense of humor sometimes.

Anyways ladies, I recommend it. I use it. I love it. You should try it!

Here’s a semi-organized summary of Stephanie’s world for the past couple of weeks:

• My co-worker whom I work closely with was hospitalized for two weeks because of an appendix burst. He went through surgery and a not-yet-over pretty painful recovery. So I went to see him pretty much every other day, for entertainment purposes mostly but also to keep him in the work loop (because he wanted to be).

• My co-worker being “out of service” means I needed to (and still am) cover for him. It was particularly challenging because it was also month end, which is the time of the month when we gather all of last month’s numbers to see how much my little nook of the business made. Read: endless reporting and Excel spreadsheet work.

• I got called for jury duty… and picked as an alternate juror… and sat at a criminal trial for a week. So basically I was not able to work for most of the day, but squeezed in document work in the random 10-15 minutes pee breaks the court would give us and of course work at night to catch up. Lunch was the only time I could access the internet at the court house, which made that hour very intense.

• The criminal case involved an assault to a police officer with a deadly weapon (a car) and a hit-and-run. That means a lot of witnesses, testimonies and emotional grown men. The guy was found guilty for both crimes and the sentence will be released in September. The process was intense and every time I got out of there I was shaking a little and had to take a walk. Once I was done with that, I would go to the hospital to visit my cut up buddy or email my life away.

• Dad and Sabine are officially moving back to France. For good. They packed up their house, sold part of their stuff and put the rest in a container to be shipped over seas. We got to stay over at their place before everything was gone. Although I know this is the best decision they can make right now, the thought of not having them around is a little disorienting. I think that the idea really hit me when Dad told me the house was completely empty and they were giving it back today. I’m so happy for them and amazed at their ability to drop everything and start over. I’m also really happy we’ll be able to see them again before they leave.

• Tomorrow is FM’s last day in Sausalito!! We’re working from home on Thursday and Monday… ta da da dah, we’re going to work in San Francisco!!!

• Next week also, I’m performing with Loose Change at YBCA as part of the West Wave Dance Festival. I’m excited, it’s going to be fun (although it was hard to squeeze in the rehearsals).

• And guess what? Within all of that, I got promoted at FM! Woo! I got the official word and effective date in the hospital “conference room”. :-)

Memorable, I tell ya.

Today, I had to bring in my Vespa LX150 to get a flat tire replaced. That meant dropping off the scooter at the shop and then busing back home. A few hours later, when it was done, I had to bus back down to the shop and scoot home.

Riding the bus made me remember a few things…
* Public transportation really saves on general gas consumption per person, especially when it’s natural gas (which I don’t think was the case today).
* Buses are dirty.
* Buses have a wide variety of human characters, including a woman who sat next to me and had old school headphones on, with techno music blasting through them. So far so good. She slided back the headphone off one ear and started talking. I was thinking hmm, she’s on the phone. But the music was still blasting and although I couldn’t understand what she was saying, she seemed to be repeating the same thing over and over again, with the same laugh at the end. So, after hearing the same foreign phrase about 10-20 times, I understood that nope, she wasn’t on the phone. Just had the same thing to say out loud over and over again and it seemed to be funny.
* It took me 10 minutes to walk to and from my 20 minute bus ride. The walk was nice but the whole trip took forever!!
* Buses smell. I actually hold my breath anytime I see an obviously very dirty person come my way.
* I don’t like riding the bus
* I love my Vespa.

And I’ll say it again: I love my Vespa! The trip home took me 8 awesome minutes instead of 30-40 minutes by bus. I have full control over my route, I feel the air, considering other vehicles I use a limited amount of gas, I feel in touch with the city and its streets, I am in an active mode and I can park it anywhere.

Seriously, once you have one, there’s not way to conceive getting around town without one.