How to become a wired fat person: the Buzz Donuts™

04.14.07 | Comment?

Doctor Robert Bohannon, a Durham, North Carolina, molecular scientist, invented a way to implement caffeine into donuts.
It even has a little name…the Buzz Donuts™.
Ok, so now let’s break this poison down for a sec.

Donut: A small ring-shaped cake made of rich, light dough that is fried in deep fat. ( Yummmm…. A ring of dough filled with saturated fat, often coated with lots of yummy sugars and stuffed with creams containing trans fat. How healthy does that sound to you?
Ok, I’ll admit, I eat about 1 a year, because they taste somewhat good. But knowing all the crap that’s in it makes me not want to intake any of it. Solution? Just don’t eat it.

Caffeine: An organic compound found in foods such as chocolate, coffee, cola nuts and tea. Scientific studies have shown that caffeine stimulates the nervous system, kidneys and heart, causes the release of insulin in the body and dilates the blood vessels.(

Ceffeinated donut equation

Here’s how caffeine works according to
“Caffeine causes changes in the chemicals of your brain, mainly in 2 ways.
It mimics adenosine, and binds to all the adenosine receptors in your brain. This prevents the real adenosine from doing its job, which happens to be the slowing down of nerve impulses and the causing of drowsiness. So your brain becomes more alert. Caffeine also increases the levels of dopamine in your brain, which improves your feeling of well-being and improves your mood. It’s this dopamine effect that is the root of caffeine’s addictive properties.”
Bottom line, it keeps you awake by fooling your brain and it makes you feel good…How can we resist addiction?

So, by putting an addictive substance into a highly rich food is the road to DEATH! Yes, death. People who need their caffeine so much, and like to eat donuts and know that by eating one of those donuts they’ll get more caffeine than in a regular cup of coffee, they’ll want to eat more of those donuts and clog their arteries, create a heart disease and die.

Dramatic? No, I think, pretty realistic. People get to that critical point without having caffeine and fat in the same bite. It’ll just make it even easier to become a wired obese person.

Thank you Robert, America really needed that!


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