I have a boy pipi!

08.01.09 | 7 Comments

I’ve always wanted to know what it was like to urinate like a boy standing. Just kidding! Well actually, not really. I’ve always been envious of men for having the freedom to just face away from anyone’s sight, take minimal body parts out and relieve themselves. Of course some men do it in more or less tasteful ways.

But think about it, when we, women, are out on a trail and we really have to go, we need to find at the very least a bush or hike out in uncertain terrain to find a hiding spot. Then we look all around, to make sure no one can see us. Then, we unzip and pull our pants down until our little booty is completely out in the open, then squat and pee. While we pee, we need to be careful where the wind comes from, not to accidentally “rain” on our shoes. Oh and what’s that tickling me on my right butt cheek? Could that be poison oak?

Anyways, you get the point. I’ve been in various situations where I so would have paid to just have a penis. Whether it’s in the snow, or in the Grand Canyon where there is no where to hide on these highly trafficked switchbacks, or in Point Reyes where everything green may be poison oak. You do NOT want to have poison oak there.

Finally the other day, during a random run at REI, I got the Freshette. I thought to myself, this could really come in handy in more situations than I think I can imagine. It is brilliant!


Naturally I got home and wanted to try it right away. Reading about other women who got it, most of them gave the gadget its first try in the shower. Actually that’s a good idea! But I went straight to the toilet. Lifted the seat, as one should do, and aimed. It took me probably a whole minute before my brain could accept the fact that it was okay to let go. Once I started, I could not stop laughing and saying “woa” and “oh” and “oh my god that’s awesome”. I shook the tube, rinsed the device and done I was.

I took it to Mount Diablo when we went camping and tried it in the pit toilet. Worked totally great. I’m planning on taking it every time we go outdoors… and perfect my art.